The 2015 Reefer Madness Tournament of Twisted Reality selection committee was challenged with a very strong field of crazies this year. It wasn't easy picking the top seeds but we finally settled on these four people as being particularly destructive to the causes of truth and justice in America. They have taken mindless interference into the private lives of others to a new level of stupidity. Not to mention they have pissed off a LOT of people. So let's get to it. These are our #1 seeds for 2015.
EAST REGION - #1 Andy Harris - ELIMINATED by #2 Sheldon Adelson
The #1 seed in the East Region is Maryland Congressman Andy Harris. Mr. Harris took time off from his attacks on "Big Government" to almost single-handedly prevent the sensible regulation of legal cannabis in Washington D.C. It was Mr Harris who introduced language into the 2015 federal budget prohibiting the use of city funds to carry out the will of more than 70% of voters. He also tried to block the decriminalization of cannabis in our nation's capital, obviously preferring that we continue putting D.C.'s black citizens in jail at 9 times the rate of their white pot loving counterparts.
But what puts him squarely into the Reefer Madness camp is his insistence that he's just trying to protect the children, even as cannabis prohibition continues to break up families and destroy the very communities that these children call home. So unpopular is Harris with the people of the district that he's actually been banned from several businesses. Well, we're happy to provide Andy Harris with a place he can call home...the top spot in the East Region.
SOUTH REGION - #1 Chris Christie
It's not always easy to make a direct connection between the policy positions of an elected official and the actual death of a child. But in Chris Christie's case, the connection is pretty obvious. In 2014, Christie took compassionate conservatism to a whole new level when he refused to removethe red tape preventing patients and caregivers from accessing medical cannabis. In Christie's mushy, snack filled brain, medical cannabis is just an excuse for people to get high. It's this kind of thinking that keeps people from seeing the plain truth when its staring them right in the face. So when a parent begged the Governor not to let his baby die, all he could say was "It's complicated."
Weeks later, another little girl with Dravet's Syndrome, Sabina Rose, passed away in New Jersey while her parents waited to access the high CBD oil which could have saved her life. She died on the same day that Governor Christie told reporters, “There’s no outpouring of people signing up for this program." There's already a special place in hell for people like Chris Christie. The least we can do is give him a special place on our bracket.
NORTH REGION - #1 Kevin Sabet
When it comes to the topic of cannabis, there is no more prolific liar than Kevin Sabet. Mr. Sabet, who wrote the instant prohibitionist classic, "Reefer Sanity," is also the go-to paid speaker on the anti-marijuana lecture circuit. In some circles he's known as the "#1 enemy of legalization." But what makes Kevin Sabet so dangerous is the way he would have us use the coercive power of the state to force people into substance abuse rehabilitation centers, whether they need it or not.
From Alabama to Arizona, from Connecticut to Oregon, make no mistake, Kevin Sabet is a man on a mission. And his mission is to compassionately condemn you to mandatory drug rehab. But don't worry...its for your own good. So for the good of our tournament, the selection committee chose Kevin Sabet as our #1 seed in the North Region.
WEST REGION - #1 Nancy Grace
After learning more about Harris, Christie and Sabet, you might be feeling a bit angry and confused. Enter Nancy Grace! This woman is SO ridiculous, that she might actually be helping the cause of legalization more than hurting it. (But that's for you to decide.) Millions of people have already seen her go off the deep end with some of the most bizarre rantings against marijuana use in the history of television. Let's see what The Young Turks had to say about Ms Grace...
But what takes this to a whole new level of crazy is her utter lack of consistency.
If she wasn't seen by so many people we might have decided to just ignore her. But make no mistake, there are people who believe her when she says "marijuana users murder whole families." So it is with some small amount of gratitude for injecting laughter back into our game, that the committee has chosen Nancy Grace as our #1 seed in the West. Thank you Nancy Grace. We have a feeling you're going to do very well.
VANORML - "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Legal Cannabis"